Skip to main content

Frustration


Is there a more pointless emotion than frustration? It serves no useful purpose other than emotional feedback that something in our status quo needs to change. More than likely that change is one of perception.
A long and mentally challenging day at work is rarely a factor of the actual activities we’ve engaged in, but rather the sense of impotence in achieving our goals.
There are many ways to define frustration; I like to define it as the gap between what we want and what we’ve got.
To eliminate this debilitating emotion we need to do one of two things: change our focus on what we want or accept that something’s are not in our control and move in the direction of that which we can control.
If the kids are doing your head in, or the boss, or your spouse, you do have a choice. Regression is the response of what I call the spoilt brat! Throw a tantrum, sulk, cry and any number of other manipulative performances.
However whilst this may provide temporary respite from our feelings of helplessness as we hook others into our ‘poor me drama,’ the long-term consequences are that people start to treat us like kids and become immune to our cravings.
Sadly, frustration is no laughing matter and there are many unstable individuals locked up due to letting emotions such as disappointment gradually escalate into despair, anger and eventually into irrational out pourings of anger and sometimes violence.
We are all calibrated differently with different trigger points and coping abilities. However once we become self aware of what’s actually going on emotionally then we start to become empowered with regard to our calculated response as opposed to the more typical knee jerk reaction.
Impulse control is mostly a factor of being tuned in to the moment and being aware of the bigger picture and consequences of our actions. Many regrets in life are the result of acting on impulse, when in the clear light of day we wonder why we acted so irrationally.
Alcohol for example is a well-known inhibitor of rational thought and the consequences of impulsive drunken behavior are well documented.
The message?  Be aware of your ability to handle frustration before it consumes you. If you feel you can’t, then make some changes. Change job, relationship, or whatever is creating the most stress OR adapt and start to care less.
As the line in Desiderata states: perhaps “the universe is unfolding as it should”






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why Isn't The Law of Attraction Working for You?

This is a confronting and provocative question. It presumes there’s a gap in your life and that you are in some way failing, falling short of your own expectations. If The Law of Attraction does indeed work, how then do we explain how bad things happen to good people? How can we explain how the worst of criminals can win the Lottery? Indeed we can question whether this much-quoted Law is in fact a myth. The point of this article is not to ponder the riddle of this apparent phenomenon or get bogged down in the mire of attempting to define the intangible. Rather I would like to posit the following commentary. Let’s twist the above question. Imagine that despite your initial reaction to the topic, that you are indeed living the dream, but have failed to realize this fact. Perhaps your appreciation lens is clouded.  Perhaps you are with your ideal life partner but are blinded to this fact by virtue of your incessant fantasizing of some parallel universe where some

Maybe You Should Just Quit!

Not a slogan Nike would advocate! Without some context words such as persistence, patience, endeavor and dedication suggest a noble attitude to life matters. They symbolize ‘the stiff upper lip’ attitude to struggle. "Never ever give up"; to paraphrase Churchill goes to the heart of most self-help and personal development philosophy. The danger of blindly following this type of perseverance without considering its context is that more often than not, triumph does not overcome adversity, at the first attempt. There is a massive industry peddling personal development material. Books, Seminars, Webinars and all manner of strategies that range from useful and inspiring to borderline extortion. Harsh comment? I don’t think so. We live in a society that reveres its celebrities regardless of their substance. The personal development industry has its share of super rich ‘leaders’ who have attained a status within their tribe equivalent to religious pontiffs. Some of thes

Ordinary May Be Overrated!

We live in a culture that increasingly embraces connectivity. The melding of outward disconnection with a simultaneous 24/7 digital conversation is both ironic and mildly disconcerting to those of us not permanently attached to this digital umbilical chord. Social niceties and courtesies are becoming severely diluted. I recently navigated the labyrinth that is Victoria Station and found myself marveling at the mass commuter hive of activity and yet clinically barren of human interaction. Each earnest participant on this treadmill journey seemed to be lost almost trance-like in some parallel universe, having engaged some sort of automatic homing device to skilfully navigate the human traffic. Ipods at full volume, newspaper in one hand, steaming coffee in the other and midst this madding crowd a complete absence of eye contact.  In this new world it would seem arcane and redundant to distract the herd by smiling, excusing yourself or being so bold as to offer some poor lost soul